Wednesday, January 14, 2009

THE GAZETTE- ISSUE #3

ILLUMINATING THE ILLUMINATI

By the RABBLEROUZER

We here at the Gazette have found a transcription of the last pay per view event with members of the ILLUMINATI led by Jayson Lastnamenotimportant. They have hinted at their own past wrestling history and after many seconds of research we have found the last pay-per-view of the W.H.O. Federation [Wrestling Homo Opponents]. Here were the results:

Naked Mud Wrestling Match
Hollywood J beat Clenched Ass

It's Raining Men Match [3-way]
Mason Storm vs. Thunder Vs. Lightning

Special Gay Porn Star Wars Themed Match
Dark side vs. Luke Guyfucker

The Kinky Foreplay Match
The Natural Chris Ice vs. Harry LongNipple

SPECIAL FACE YOUR FEARS MATCH
The President of the W.H.O. federation JAYSON M. vs. The Priest that Touched Him As a Kid

I don't know how this new guy will fare in the EWF but I just hope some of the stipulations from his former federation don't make it to our federation. He is already clamoring for Divas but he hasn't made it clear if he actually wants women or men in women's clothing. Stay Tuned for more experimental updates on the "rookie of the queer." -RABBLEROUZER

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